I love long mornings that stretch until the sun reaches the highest point in the sky. I stretch my soul out like a cat from toes to the tips of my fingers while I mingle with my morning cup of cacao. I have always been fascinated by this body. This playground and sanctuary. I softly lean into my thighs and fully breathe out.
What does allowing mean to you?
Permission to be you without wearing masks, which harass the innate joy and love that lives inside your body. Pure perfection in being human and in this body.
There are moments when we are hit by a lightning of clarity. When our own hands embrace our thighs that we used to pinch in front of the mirror, with an wrinkled eyebrow, mind full of stories that are not ours about our imperfections and lacks.
There comes a moment when all disappears. Sometimes crying and weeping or laughing hysterically until you pee yourself. Sometimes while goofing around with your lover, dancing and rubbing yourself nakedly against the carpet. Walking on the street soaking wet from the rain after a long workday with a slight smirk on your face. You just REMEMBER. With a smile on your face. You remember who you are. Who you have always been.
You accept yourself as love. You greet and embrace yourself with forgiveness. With unconditional love. Free from all illusions, free from all limiting stories of the mind and ego.
I still remember vividly those years after having an eating disorder and being too harsh on myself with over exercising and being way too controlive. Which were all expressions of unresolved trauma and shadow work. There was a moment I truly saw my own body.
That I am a woman, That I am curvy. That I am soft yet fiercely strong. That my bouncing thighs and small breasts are so lovely and cute. So me. And those reunions with my body were all bitter-sweet. I was slowly starting to come back into this body of mine (still continuing falling into her). I was starting to accept being human. Humbly embracing trauma and blame and insecurities.
It is an important moment to meet yourself naked, without barriers and distractions, when we want to cultivate more self love. To look at yourself and your body whatever way necessary without a nagging voice of judgment, to create your body a garden for love to flourish.
During this journey I have found myself many times standing naked in front of the mirror and saying to myself: “Hello. Dear body. I haven't noticed you for a long time. But I want to thank you for carrying me. Thank you for holding me even when I criticised you and starved you in disgust. You allowed me to breath through pain. To enjoy bathing in sadness. To sleepwalk.” (there is a moment we notice we have been asleep). “Thank you body that only through you I can experience this world. Taste and get drunk from her beauty, that my body can be embraced by her pleasures. That I can experience falling in love and grieving.
Heart. Dear heart, hello. Thank you. Even though break ups have crushed you into pieces and closed you for years your only wish and desire is to love. All this time you have been full of the first warm summer rain freshness and ripe and sugar dripping nectars that you want to offer. You have been waiting for me, that I would fall into you from my mind and allow my body to fully feel the bitterness and the sweetness of life. You accept it all. Your compassion is limitless.”
Yes. Remembering is an act of rebellion. Rebellion against the authority, sometimes quiet, sometimes fierce and loud. Women's rebellion in being a woman. Men`s rebellion in being a man. Authentic, limitless, full of her own unique essence. Did I already mention limitless? Yes, ignoring all labels. Infinite with all her different facets. You are all of it and so much more.
The only definition of yourself is a fiction of your cute mind, that makes you suffer, as it is limiting your fullness of being.
“Hello. Earth mama.” Continues the dialogue. Now deeply sank into my body. Both feet planted firmly on the earth. In gratitude. In pain. In beauty. “Thank you mama Earth. Thank you primordial power that holds me and guides me. Yes. I accept my humanness. My incarnation. This body. This shape. This landscape. I accept birth. Death. Life.”
I love this body. Those little toes, legs, bouncing thighs and lush butt. Wild tiger traces on my skin that tell the story of growing. Changing. I love you, breasts, that you give, that you bloom. That you are small, big, ideal, uneven, soft, hard, perky. Thank you, hands. Thank you lips. Your soft reddish tone, after a sip of wine, after a sweet kiss. Cheeks, thank you for blushing, for smiling. Thank you eyes for seeing. Thank you for opening and closing, crying and smiling. Thank you nose, forehead, head, crown, the gate to the divine. Thank you hair, wild, tamed, curly and straight, short and long, fluffy and smooth.
There is only one primordial call of the divine: “Come into my playground and forget the rest.”
The game that arises and sneaks under our skin. Spontaneous freedom. Childish innocent beauty. Free love. Free expression of self.
Freedom to ask that eccentric handsome guy on a date, freedom to wear striped knee high socks. Refusing to wear underwear under the skirt and indulge in playful thoughts standing in the grocery line. Freedom to drink wine alone and enjoy every bite of orgasmic sensation of chocolate. Freedom to exercise. Or not. Or do it double the time. Freedom to wake up at 5am or at noon. Freedom to wear those sexy underwear and dance in front of the mirror. Freedom to wear those same comfy leggings for a week. Freedom to compliment a stranger. Openly look the world and fall in love with yourself, with life.
Rebelliously just being you.
Yes, my darling, propagating aliveness is an act of true rebellion, a quiet revolution inside yourself. It's your loving heart that is the biggest gift you were given.
The feminine in you doesn`t need everything around you to be in order and clear (and the feminine aspect of god is in men and women). No. Her wild heart actually flourishes in exploring the differences with curiosity and love that emerges only within the dance of duality, polarity, togetherness and separation.
You are magnificent. Unique.
The balance comes when we open ourselves up to conflict, confusion and compassion. Life flows through you with ease as you give up the model or idea of perfection and accept the wisdom of your wounds
Your journey is your medicine that you came here to offer. Your body is your altar.
“To be in this body means to be nature. To live as nature. I surrender to this process. I surrender to being like a seed that flowers and grows and wilts and is reborn. I am cyclical like the seasons, like the moon which wanes from shining and full light from “look at me!” to I am invisible, I am gone, I am darkness, I am going void. It is a strange way to be, to be a circle like this, a cycle of one moment shine and the next moment darkness. But this is me. In a body. Everyday surrender ups and downs. And I am willing. It requires courage to be in this body. Like jumping into a river and simply letting it carry you, but keeping your head above the water, so you can see not to bang into a rock. It would seem easier to be a static point or a line, fixed, unchanging, known, finite, transparent. Than a circle, spiral.
But this process of being in this body is mine, I am going to claim it.”
-A Chapter from Alexandra Roxo book “F*ck Like a Goddess: Heal Yourself. Reclaim Your Voice. Stand in Your Power.”
How are you going to claim your body?
Written by Eliisa Mölder